Justin's Whirled Headlines Issue #72
APRIL 9, 2001

2001, Justin Thorne




Clinton 'inaugurates' girl's school in India, AND YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW
 

Japan LDP factions prepare to battle for PM post WITH OLD-FASHIONED SLAP FIGHT
 

Britain's monarchy stirs new debate on its future WITH OUT-OF-TOUCH TALK ABOUT ANNEXING PRUSSIA
 

U.S. wants Germany to increase military spending SO BUSH CAN PRETEND IT'S WORLD WAR II AND THE COLD WAR ALL AT THE SAME TIME
 

3 countries look to combat poverty WHILE 100 OR SO OTHERS SIT ON THEIR HANDS
 

Vatican crowds cheer Pope INTO ENCORE ACOUSTIC RENDITION OF 'ALL ALONG THE WATCHTOWER'
 

Islamic Jihad member killed in phone booth explosion, PROVIDING THE PERFECT JUSTIFICATION FOR THEIR MISSION
 

WHEN A Pakistan coach denies match-fixing charges, YOU CAN PRETTY MUCH BE CERTAIN HE IS LYING
 

Jiang unfazed during Latin America visit, WHICH SHOULD NOT BE SURPRISING GIVEN THE LACK OF AUTHORITY HE EXERTS OVER CHINA'S FOREIGN POLICY
 

Rebel skills useful after disaster IN 'ENFORCING THE PEACE'
 

EPA'S Whitman defends administration, asks for patience REGARDING ITS SYSTEMATIC DISMANTLING OF U.S. ENVIRONMENTAL RESPONSIBILITY
 

Mars Odyssey SIMULTANEOUSLY carries NASA's dreams AND MAMMOTH POTENTIAL FOR FAILURE
 

Anglican Church "won't accept gay marriages", PREFERS AMBIGUITY PERSONIFIED BY MEMBERS OF CLERGY AND THEIR INVOLVEMENT WITH YOUNG BOYS
 

Macedonia trying to put tight lidS on Albanian rebels' COFFINS
 

Bush writes wife of missing pilot: 'IT WAS HIS FAULT'