Justin's Whirled Headlines Issue #58
OCTOBER 19, 2000

©2000, Justin Thorne




Israel, Palestinians to take 'concrete measures' to end violence MORE QUICKLY, SUCH AS SATURATION BOMBING

Investigators link TOGETHER 2 POSSIBLE EXPLANAtIoNS FOR USS Cole bombing: 'I DONíT LIKE THE U.S.' AND 'I DONíT MIND BLOWING MYSELF UP'

Bangladeshi leader to pressure U.S. on deportations SINCE BANGLADESH PHYSICALLY HAS NOWHERE TO PUT ANY MORE CITIZENS

More calls for ERIK Estrada's APPOINTMENT AS 'MINISTER OF LOVE' MAY LEAD TO CABINET resignationS in Philippines

Sri Lankans receive donated corneas from late prime minister TO BE SOLD IN OFF-COLOR MEMORIBILIA AUCTION ON EBAY

South African leader to step back from AIDS debate, 'CAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO 'CATCH IT'

ECCENTRIC Warlord leaves new Somali Government TO BEGIN WORK ON DEATH STAR

Final showdown for Bush and Gore SHOULD HAVE BEEN A PAY-PER-VIEW WRESTLING MATCH

THE 'People smuggling network' IS EXPECTED TO BE A smash TV SUCCESS IN CHINA FOR AS LONG AS THERE IS SUCH AMPLE DeMANd

Russian tycoon quizzed over Aeroflot funds WHICH ENDED UP IN HIS PRIVATE OFFSHORE BANK ACCOUNT, ANSWERS 'HEY, HOW'D THAT MONEY GET IN THERE?'

Gore, Bush seek words to persuade undecided voters, COME UP WITH 'MY OPPONENT IS THE ANTICHRIST'

Hair study reveals Beethoven had lead poisoning, WHICH APPARENTLY HELPS EXPLAIN THE REPETITIVE THEMATICS OF HIS FIFTH SYMPHONY

Ford RAPIDLY recalls 351,000 2000-Model Focus small cars, WHICH IT WILL REPLACE IN 2001 IN ORDER TO REDUCE THIS YEAR'S DEATH TALLY

Arabs decry cease-fire agreement AS NOT PROVIDING AMPLE TIME FOR REVENGE KILLINGS

Chicken soup is medicine, U.S. scientists confirm, JUST LIKE KETCHUP IS A VEGETABLE