Justin's Whirled Headlines Issue #51
AUGUST 23, 2000

2000, Justin Thorne




Neo-Nazis on trial in Germany deny intent to kill victim, CALL IT 'HAPPY COINCIDENCE'

WITH UNCONVINCING 'OSAMA BIN WHO?' RETORT, Hamas leader denies ties to Osama bin Laden

Russian jets bombard Chechen mountains WHEN FRUSTRATED BY LACK OF HUMAN TARGETS

Suharto ordered to attend corruption trialS BEING PUT ON BY NEW REGIME TO HELP TEST NEWLY DEVELOPED CORRUPTION TECHNIQUES

Clinton SHOWS signs OF waiverING IN allowing HIS LATEST 21-YEAR-OLD aidE to TAKE EXTENDED VACATION IN Colombia

PUTTING THE 'LIBERTY' IN LIBERIA, Liberian president not likely to free jailed journalists, official says

China cracking down on e-mail spam; move may suppress dissidents AND UNCLOG NETWORKS TO SPEED VIEWING OF PORN BY COMMUNIST PARTY FIGUREHEADS

Leonardo da Vinci 'may have fathered son', BUT PROBABLY NOT LATELY

Colombia-US seize 3 tons of cocaine on high seas AS 48 TONS FIND THEIR WAY IN BY OTHER MEANS

Argentine cabinet told BY PRESIDENT to cooperate in bribeRY SCHEME TO ENSURE probe RESULTS IN A DISMISSAL OF CHARGES AGAINST HIM

Cuban leaders and media critique U.S. presidential campaigns FOR NOT PRODUCING ANYONE WILLING TO DISMANTLE THE CAPITALIST SYSTEM

Colombia rounds up beggars ahead of Clinton visit TO SEE IF ANY OF THEM MIGHT SUIT CLINTON'S FANCY

Putin arrives to face wrath of submarine relatives WITH SUNTAN ACQUIRED WHILE CREW WAS DROWNING

Saudi EFFORT to join U.N. convention on women's rights MET WITH SAME SKEPTICISM AS CHINESE EFFORT TO JOIN U.N. CONVENTION ON FREEDOM OF SPEECH

EU scales down pig export ban AFTER RECEIVING HOLLYWOOD ASSURANCES THAT ANOTHER 'BABE' MOVIE IS NOT IN THE WORKS