Justin's Whirled Headlines Issue #50
AUGUST 14, 2000

2000, Justin Thorne




Rwanda to speed up genocide trials of minors IN ORDER TO LET THE NEXT ROUND OF GENOCIDE START SOONER

Indonesia, Venezuela, TWO FINE EXAMPLES OF CORRUPTION-FREE, DEMOCRATIC LEADERSHIP, call for lifting of Iraq sanctions

Chances for rescuing Russian sub not good WHEN IT IS DISCOVERED THAT BUDGET CUTS HAVE PUT THE ENTIRE RUSSIAN NAVAL RESCUE FLEET IN DRYDOCK

Clinton to decide on new THEME SONG FOR Mideast summit, IS LEANING TOWARDS USING 'OVER THE RAINBOW'

Human rights group claims executions on rise in Cuba, AND ALSO IN TEXAS

U.S. PLACES nuclear bomb 'on seabed off Greenland', FIGURING NO ONE WILL LOOK THERE

The Buena Vista Social Club come home to Havana TO PACK THEIR BAGS

African leaders hold summit on Congo war, DECIDE TO LET IT CONTINUE

Ecuador struggles TO FIGURE OUT WHO ANDREW JACKSON AND ULYSSES GRANT ARE with transition to U.S. currency

U.S. leaders WHO SUPPORT GEORGE W. BUSH debate aid to Colombia FOR ANTI-DRUG FIGHT WHEN THEY REALIZE THAT THEY MAY BE CUTTING OFF THE GOVERNOR'S COCAINE SUPPLY

Muslim rebels halt peace talks in Philippines WHEN THEY CALL THE LOCAL CATHOLIC BISHOP 'A PANTYWAIST'

Barak appoints 2 PERSONAL 'ministers OF LOVE', bypassing Israeli parliament AND REALLY TICKING OFF HIS WIFE

Nigerian Senate postpones vote on new leader TO ALLOW CANDIDATES TIME TO SHOW OFF THEIR SKILLS OF OPPRESSION

Venezuela's Chavez meets with Gadhafi in Libya ON LATEST INSTALLMENT OF HIS DESPOT 2000 TOUR

N. Ireland march free of trouble, BUT PARAMILITARIES PROMISE TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME