| No.
Issue #1 |
Date:
2/12/99 |
Top headline:
Brazil stops issuing permits for clearing Amazon River basin
land, BUT APPROVES CLEARING ALL LAND AROUND IT |
| Issue #2 |
2/14/99 |
Serbs back off demands OF FREE PIZZA, but still oppose NATO
troops in Kosovo |
| Issue #3 |
2/23/99 |
Michigan man freed after serving 2 1/2 months on 1974 conviction
FOR STEALING REDD FOXX'S AMC MATADOR |
| Issue #4 |
3/01/99 |
Albright reportedly asks Dole, Soros for help with Kosovo DANCE
STEPS TO BE USED AT NEXT WEEK'S SUMMIT MEETING MIXER |
| Issue #5 |
3/20/99 |
QUESTIONABLY IMPARTIAL War crimes tribunal finds violations
by Croat army LIMITED TO “CREATING PUBLIC DISTURBANCE” AND “ILLEGAL DISCHARGE
OF FIREARM IN RESIDENTIAL AREA”, newspaper reports |
| Issue #6 |
3/24/99 |
Paraguay's vice president ACCIDENTALLY assassinated BY AILING,
NEARLY BLIND ADOLF HITLER, WHO WAS GROPING FOR DOOR HANDLE WHEN ANTIQUE
RIFLE FIRED |
| Issue #7 |
3/26/99 |
Competing princes changing the face of KING FAHD IN PUBLIC BANNERS
THROUGHOUT Riyadh, ADDING TERMINATOR SUNGLASSES, WARTS AND THE OCCASIONAL
MOHAWK HAIRDO |
| Issue #8 |
3/29/99 |
Man says British Telecom “WIN A LATIN LOVER” promotional campaign
wrecked his marriage |
| Issue #9 |
4/02/99 |
Everything in place for Lockerbie trial, except suspects, KHADAFI
SAYS “I GOT YOUR SUSPECTS RIGHT HERE” |
| Issue #10 |
4/09/99 |
Reformed yakuza now serve a higher boss – THE SPIRIT OF ELVIS |
| Issue #11 |
4/13/99 |
Schroeder lauded for firm, TIGHT BUTTOCKS WHICH “THE Kosovo
LADIES CAN’T stand SHARING WITH ANYONE ELSE” |
| Issue #12 |
4/20/99 |
Police look for clues, motive in bombing at London market, PURSUING
“ANGRY BRITISH CITIZEN” ANGLE THAT'S WORKED SO WELL FOR THEM IN THE PAST |
| Issue #13 |
4/28/99 |
Floridians warned to steer clear of alligators, IN ANOTHER
INSTANCE OF EXPERTS TELLING PEOPLE WHAT THEY COULD HAVE FIGURED OUT ON THEIR OWN |
| Issue #14 |
5/10/99 |
Indian protesters form 480-mile human chain IN ORDER TO CONVINCE DAVID
COPPERFIELD THAT HE AND HIS EXTRAORDINARY SKILLS OF ILLUSION
ARE NOT WELCOME |
| Issue #15 |
5/18/99 |
KING Abdullah opens weeklong ALL-STAR DIPLOMAT
GYMNASTIC meet, with SECRETARY OF STATE Albright TO COMPETE IN THE UNEVEN
PARALLEL BARS |
