Issue #36
FEBRUARY 29, 2000

2000, Justin Thorne




Haider reportedly resigns as head of Austria's Freedom Party, BUT NO ONE CAN BE SURE AS JOURNALISTS, JEWS AND GYPSIES THERE ARE AFRAID TO COME OUT OF THEIR HOUSES

Thousands await rescue from floods in Mozambique BY STAGGERINGLY GENEROUS 5 HELICOPTERS THAT WORLD COMMUNITY HAS MANAGED TO RAISE FOR THEM

FINALLY STARTING TO CATCH ON, 'U.S. and Britain blocking aid for political reasons,'Iraq says

Court rules German obtained Canadian citizenship by hiding Nazi war record, WHICH MAKES SENSE IF YOU'E A FORMER NAZI WHO WANTS TO LIVE IN CANADA

IN TYPICALLY INSENSITIVE FASHION, U.S. delegation pledges support for using U.S. currency in Ecuador INSTEAD OF 'THAT BANANA LAND MONEY'

4 U.S. teens detained in deadly stone-throwing in Germany BY NEO-NAZI YOUTHS LOOKING TO DO A LITTLE RECRUITING

Johns Hopkins University returns ALL partS of ninth century Koran to Turkey EXCEPT THOSE WHICH TALK ABOUT THEFT AND RETRIBUTION

Italy's government, unions sign Holy Year strike truce, BY AGREEING THAT ITALIAN PRODUCTIVITY CAN STAY SUBSTANDARD FOR ANOTHER YEAR

Limbless college student defies Japanese notions of disability BY JUST SHOWING UP FOR CLASS

Kurds celebrate after 3 mayors released from Turkish prison COME OUT WITH VITAL SIGNS

AFTER CAREFUL CONSIDERATION OF ALL THE FACTS OVER A SIX-MONTH PERIOD, Human-rights advocate calls for end to war in Chechnya

Russia's Putin vows to 'knock off' corrupt officials, AND SOMEHOW, THE WORLD THINKS HE ISN'T SPEAKING FIGURATIVELY

Indonesia's president appoints Henry Kissinger as political adviser, WHO PROMPTLY INFORMS INDONESIA THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO WASTE HIS TIME WITH A COUNTRY NOT CAPABLE OF DESTROYING THE PLANET WITHIN AN HOUR

Pentagon says no defective chemical suits issued to troops, BUT REFUSES TO GIVE UP OPTION TO DO SO IN THE FUTURE

Thousands of Lebanese students protest against Jospin remarks THAT 'LEBANESE STUDENTS ARE TOO SENSITIVE'