Three arrested in deadly Istanbul store bombing, BUT NO ONE ARRESTED IN SEPARATE STORE BOMBING THAT MERELY ANNOYED A FEW PEOPLE
 

STRONG MARTINIS AT Israel'S bars DRAWS thousands OF MERRYMAKERS, KEEPS THEM from leaving 'security zone' in south Lebanon EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO SOBER
 

CRAZED JapanESE FARMER reportedly fires warning shots at 'intruding' CRUISE ship
 

OPEC agrees to cut oil production, PRETEND BEING POOR FOR ONE MONTH
 

Arafat discusses Palestinian statehood with U.S. leaders, WHO, THOUGH HONORED, REPLIED 'WITH 50 STATES, PLUS PUERTO RICO ON THE WAY, THE UNION IS ALREADY STRETCHED TO CAPACITY'
 

Trial of Malaysian politician Anwar Ibrahim ends abruptly WHEN JUDGE AGREES TO DISMISS CASE IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS
 

Government and Zapatistas both claim victory in Chiapas election, LEADING EXPERTS TO BELIEVE ONE OF THE TWO IS LYING
 

Cuban sedition law has journalists living in fear OF HAVING TO LOOK UP 'SEDITION' IN DICTIONARY
 

Cyclone Vance tears across northwestern Australia, SOOTHING FEARFUL CITIZENS WITH ITS WIMPY NAME
 

Bosnian Serbs to sue U.S. arbitrator Roberts Owen OVER MARKETING OF 'SERBO-FLAKES' BREAKFAST CEREAL, THE CEREAL WITH 'A BANG IN EVERY BITE'
 

FRENCH-LED EU heads INTO UNCHARTED WATERS, may pick JERRY LEWIS TO BE chief executive at summit
 

Libyan court wants Americans arrested for 1986 bombing OF 'GADAFFY DUCK'S', THE FUNKIEST LIBYAN DISCO IN MANHATTAN
 

Pope to visit Jerusalem next March, Israeli minister says, 'BECAUSE HE REALLY WANTS TO BE KILLED BY A TERRORIST'
 

Yeltsin OKs parliament's conditions for START II ratification, THEN GOES RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP
 

Iranian hardliners pull plug on new year's festival PLAN FOR NAKED BIMBOS AND JACK DANIELS
 

Annual session begins for Human Rights Commission, IN WHICH WORLD'S HUMAN RIGHTS WILL SEE NO IMPROVEMENT, IF ALL GOES AS PLANNED
 

Nairobi embassy condemned FOR OUT-OF-DATE USE OF FACADE AND POOR LANDSCAPING
 

Belarusian charged with war crimes testifies he has clear conscience, ESPECIALLY SINCE EVERYONE WHO MIGHT SAY OTHERWISE IS DEAD