Bush offers 100-day progress report WRITTEN IN CRAYON
 

Officials discuss global slowdown OVER MASSIVE GOURMET BANQUET FINANCED BY THEIR CONSTITUENTS
 

Putin meets Chinese leader, SPENDS 20 MINUTES GIGGLING WITH HIM ABOUT GEORGE BUSH BEING ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE U.S.
 

Japan signals peaceful intentions, but SEES NOTHING CONTRADICTORY IN reaffirmING MASsIVE armament plans
 

Arab Internet users catch up with cyber porn, AND BOY ARE THEY HAPPY
 

CIA admits employing Nazis TO HONE ITS FASCIST TENDENCIES
 

Egyptian president says Israel moving toward a cease-fire, BUT IN THE MEANTIME, IT'S 'FIRE AWAY'
 

North Korea calls for U.S. troops pull-out, FREE U.S. NUCLEAR TECHNOLOGY
 

Philippines' Arroyo insists she'll relax security, BUT SHE ISN'T EXACTLY IN A HURRY
 

Lebanese look to nation's future TO AVOID FACING THE PRESENT
 

North Korea has not renounced missile sales, EU says, NOR HAS IT GIVEN UP ON DRESSING ITS LEADERS TO LOOK LIKE THE BAD GUY FROM A JAMES BOND FILM
 

Pope appeals for Mideast peace IN A REGION WHERE CATHOLICS AREN'T EXACTLY CALLING THE SHOTS
 

A Man IS shot in THE West Bank ONCE EVERY 3.7 MINUTES