Sudan president bans newspaper for critical reporting, SEEKS NEWSPAPER THAT WILL NOT DIVULGE WHAT AN ASS HE IS
 

Istanbul mayor visits Greek quake victims, SAYS, 'STOP YOUR COMPLAINING, YOU SHOULD SEE MY TOWN'
 

Anti-graft reformers face long odds in Russia, SINCE GRAFT HAS BECOME 'CHIC'
 

Barak says Israel could become 'like Kosovo' if peace talks fail, A STATEMENT WHICH IGNORES THE REALITY OF THE LAST 30-40 YEARS
 

Airline defends flight crew's actions in fatal Hong Kong crash AS A PATRIOTIC EFFORT AT POPULATION CONTROL
 

Malaysian police fire tear gas on pro-reform demonstrators, BECAUSE MAKING THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE IS BAD
 

Journalist shot dead in northern Colombia BECAUSE NEWS IS BAD
 

Cape Town plans to market sex services to tourists, IN ATTEMPT TO REGAIN MOST SCORNED NATION STATUS FOR SOUTH AFRICA
 

Australia's Howard says Timor action morally right, AND 'COOL', SORT OF LIKE PLAYING A LIFESIZED GAME OF STRATEGO
 

China arrests more members of meditation group FOR MEDITATING
 

North Korean soldier crosses into South Korea FOR SOMETHING TO EAT
 

Hun Sen, Annan hold 'frank' talks about tribunal, IMPOTENCE
 

Mexico commemorates 14th anniversary of deadly '85 quake BY CHALLENGING THE EARTH TO A REMATCH