Justin's Whirled Headlines Issue #23
AUGUST 18, 1999

©1999, Justin Thorne




Britain tossing some history overboard, AS IT'S PROVING TOO EMBARRASSING
 

Not following the rules: Books charts atrocities of war, AND CLINGS TO THE OXYMORONIC NOTION THAT WAR SHOULD BE CIVIL
 

Food aid needed for 770,000 Serbs, U.N. refugee agency says, NATO RESPONDS THAT DUE TO ITS STRICT NEUTRALITY POLICY, IT WOULD LIKE TO HELP, BUT CANNOT
 

Yugoslavia-Croatia soccer match 'won't be only sports', GUN PLAY WILL BE INTRODUCED AT HALF TIME, AND 'KILL AN INNOCENT SPECTATOR' WILL BE IN EFFECT ALL GAME
 

Polydor shelves punk rendition of Japanese anthem, IN FAVOR OF AN INFECTIOUS, SASSY SALSA NUMBER
 

European Coke scare still a mystery, COKE'S UNSWAYING POPULARITY JUST PLAIN SCARY
 

Russia's new premier warned not to quarrel with Kremlin, OR YELTSIN WILL HAVE TO GET OUT OF BED TO PUT THE SMACK ON HIM
 

Madam Tussaud's at last shows wax Castro in London, AND APPARENTLY IT'S MORE LIFELIKE THAN THE REAL THING
 

African refugees say world cares more about Kosovo, SERBIANS BEING KILLED BY VENGEFUL KOSOVARS IN KOSOVO BEG TO DIFFER
 

From the heartland to Havana, Americans open soccer diplomacy PREEMPTIVELY, IN ORDER TO EXPLAIN U.S. MENS' TEAM POOR PERFORMANCE IN FUTURE CONTESTS
 

Angry mob burns man in Venezuela, REMINDING VENUZUELAN EMIGRANTS WHY THEY LEFT
 

East Timor independence leader threatens cyberwar on Indonesia, IN WHICH HE AND PRESIDENT HABIBIE WILL PLAY A 90-MINUTE ONE-ON-ONE 'QUAKE 2' DEATHMATCH TO DETERMINE THE FATE OF THE BREAKAWAY REGION
 

Pentagon sifts files in Diana death probe WITH MORE ATTENTION TO DETAIL THAN THAT GIVEN TO THE J.F.K. ASSASSINATION FILES
 

Sonia Gandhi runs for safest Parliament seat possible, THE ONE IN THE CORNER BEHIND THE BULLETPROOF SHIELD
 

Scientist says Pakistan, LIKE TV'S 'MACGYVER', can build neutron bomb USING HOUSEHOLD UTENSILS, 3 CANS OF DIET PEPSI, AN OSCILLOSCOPE, 2 PACKS OF GUM AND A 12-VOLT CAR BATTERY