Justin's Whirled Headlines Issue #75
MAY 15, 2001

2001, Justin Thorne




Violence dots West Bank as Palestinians remember 1948 'catastrophe' WITH NEW 21ST CENTURY VERSION
 

Siestas cease in Nicaragua, GUN PLAY RESUMES
 

French activists briefly stop German nuclear train, THEN BACK AWAY AFTER STARTING TO FEEL QUEASY
 

Vatican takes theologian to task FOR HAVING HIS OWN IDEAS
 

Dismay at US attorney general's Bible classes JUST THE FIRST IN A LONG LINE OF OUTRAGES TO COME
 

Ex-Canadian general calls for more professional peacekeepers, AFTER LEADING A PLATOON OF OVERWEIGHT MOLSON-GUZZLERS TO BOSNIA
 

Nigeria promises power for its people JUST AS SOON AS THE MILITARY FINISHES EMPTYING THE STATE COFFERS
 

Top South African counsels Colombia on peace process AND HOW NOT TO ORGANIZE SOCCER MATCHES
 

Beijing in top three Olympic bid cities, PLANNING SOPHISTICATED STRATEGY OF BRIBES, RANDOM VIOLENCE AND REFUSAL TO SUPPLY THE WORLD WITH SHOES IF IT DOESN'T GO THEIR WAY
 

Yugoslav forces PUT THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE TO recapture EMPTY, DESERTED villageS
 

Former PM denies Polish massacre, CLAIMING THAT VICTIMS' FAMILIES MUST BE CONFUSED
 

Destruction of Amazon jungle hits 5-year high UPON COMPLETION OF REGION'S 83RD STARBUCKS SHOP
 

Post-Castro era 'No problem,' says Cuba's No. 2, IT'S THE CASTRO ERA THAT'S GIVING US HEADACHES
 

Pakistan criticizes U.S. missile defense plans FOR ATTEMPTING TO STOP INCOMING PAKISTANI MISSILES
 

NERDY 18-YEAR-OLD Canadian partyGOER TELLS FRIENDS HE wants Day out ON THE TOWN WITH CINDY CRAWFORD; EXPERTS SAY THAT ISN'T LIKELY TO HAPPEN