Justin's Whirled Headlines Issue #69
FEBRUARY 27, 2001

2001, Justin Thorne




Baby found frozen in Canada recovering nicely, EXPECTED TO BE AVAILABLE ON EBAY LATER THIS WEEK
 

French authorities say little trace of Kurdish refugees CAN BE EXPECTED AFTER UNOPPOSED CARPET BOMBING
 

Punches thrown in Yugoslav Parliament, JUST LIKE IN THE OLD DAYS
 

Bush faults China on aid to Iraq for radar system, ORDERS AIR ASSAULT ON SHANGHAI
 

Descendant asks Russia Orthodox Church to forgive Leo Tolstoy; TOLSTOY COULDN'T BE REACHED FOR COMMENT
 

Iraq begins talks with United Nations TO RECEIVE THE SAME INTERNATIONAL RIGHTS ENJOYED BY CUBA, NORTH KOREA, LIBYA, MYANMAR AND AFGHANISTAN
 

Bush sends admiral to Japan to apologize for submarine collision BECAUSE HE HAS GUESTS 'COMING OVER FOR SOME BARBECUE'
 

Cardinals called to Vatican in May to discuss church strategy IN NEXT MONTH'S BASEBALL REMATCH WITH THE PRESBYTERIANS
 

Napster blamed for CD sales slump RATHER THAN THE 58 MILLION CD-ROM BURNERS SOLD IN THE LAST YEAR
 

Foot-and-mouth crisis may delay British election, AS OPPOSED TO THE FOOT-IN-MOUTH CRISES THAT USUALLY PRECIPITATE ONE
 

U.S. to continue protecting U.S. OIL INDUSTRY IN Kuwait
 

AND IN UNSURPRISING NEWS, Richest cabinet in history would gain from Bush tax cuts
 

Monaco princess linked with circus man, WHICH ANSWERS A LOT OF QUESTIONS ABOUT EUROPEAN ROYALTY
 

Japanese women flock to self-defense classes AFTER FINALLY RECOGNIZING THEIR VICTIM STATUS
 

Disney to lay off 135 Internet staff IN ORDER TO FOCUS ON PERSONNEL INVESTMENTS IN 'GOOFY DIVISION'