Justin's Whirled Headlines Issue #63
NOVEMBER 28, 2000

2000, Justin Thorne




World's longest tunnel opens in Norway AS WORLD'S LONGEST LINE OF UNCOMFORTABLE PEOPLE FORMS AT SINGLE TOILET LOCATED BY TUNNEL EXIT

Monsoon devastates Indonesian island PREVOUSLY SLATED FOR DEVASTATION BY MOB VIOLENCE

Japan 'spy' admits passing THE secrets USED TO DEVELOP MINDLESS DEMAND FOR LOVEABLE ANIMATED CHARACTERS TO THE HIGHEST BIDDERS

Israel questions PALESTINIAN boy's death WITH LESS-THAN-CONVINCING 'HOW DO YOU KNOW HE WAS REALLY A BOY, AND CAN YOU PROVE HE WAS PALESTINIAN?'

Tamil rebels offer peace talks ON THE ONE HAND, CONTINUED CAR BOMBINGS ON THE OTHER

Miss World pageant aims for higher profile THROUGH ELIMINATION OF SWIMSUIT COMPETITION IN FAVOR OF STARK NUDITY COMPETITION

Mexico's Fox names cabinet members, AMERICA'S FOX NEWS NETWORK TRIES IT'S BEST TO ANNOINT GEORGE BUSH KING

Venezuela calls home its ambassador AFTER HE RENOUNCES CORRUPTION

Russia offers 'strategic partnership' with parts of Europe, WHERE THE EUROPEAN NATION RECEIVES 'PARTNERSHIP' IN EXCHANGE FOR 'STRATEGIC' CASH FOR RUSSIA

Kostunica snubs Albright in Austria IN FAVOR OF SOME QUALITY TIME WITH JOERG HAIDER

Fujimori says he made decision to resign suddenly AFTER SECURING TICKETS TO TOKYO

Clinton confirms N.Ireland trip TO COMPLETE TRIUMVIRATE WITH VIETNAM AND ISRAEL FOR 'FAILED U.S. POLICY TOUR 2000'

Former President Nelson Mandela to undergo APPARENTLY PUBLIC prostate tests

Massive street protests held BY GROUP CALLED 'AIRBORNE DEATH NOW' after Indian court closes polluting factories

Canada votes the old-fashioned way WITH MULE-DRIVEN CHAD PUNCHER