Justin's Whirled Headlines Issue #48
JULY 18, 2000

2000, Justin Thorne




After tense coup, Fiji swears in new president 'DEMOCRATICALLY CHOSEN' BY THE COUP LEADERS

Defecting Cuban doctors seek refuge in U.S. AFTER LEARNING THAT DOCTORS THERE EARN MORE MONEY IN A WEEK THAN THEY WOULD IN A LIFETIME

Serb leader offers election assurances OF RAMPANT FRAUD AND INTIMIDATION TACTICS

Thai boy smuggled into U.S. can stay, judge rules, SPARKING ENTIRE NEW THAI EXPORT INDUSTRY

Cuban government holding political prisoners for shorter periods, WITH 'SLAP ON THE WRIST' JAIL TERMS TO LAST FOR 5 YEARS INSTEAD OF 10

IN A NOT PARTICULARLY SURPRISING DEVELOPMENT, Chinese dam project overshadowed by corruption

Saddam celebrates Baath party's 32 years in power BY BEATING 32 PEOPLE CHOSEN AT RANDOM FROM THE STREETS

Koreans wait for reunion finalists to be chosen BEFORE KICKING IN THE BRIBES

Roman Colosseum gets new stage WHEN RICKY MARTIN COMES TO TOWN

Convicted Hamas killer escapes from prison for third time, MAKING HIM EVEN MORE ATTRACTIVE TO THE C.I.A.

Thousands return to homes after Montreal 'chemical BROTHERS' CONCERT FEELING LESS THAN fireD UP ABOUT 2 HOURS OF TECHNO DANCE GROOVE AND NO VOCALS

'HOORAY! Scores of Chechens die in air attacks! RUNNING UNARMED VILLAGERS REALLY ARE NO MATCH FOR SMART BOMBS!' Russian military says

Japan's top bakery hit by new food-poisoning scare, NAMELY THAT GREEN LUMPS IN CHEESE BREAD CANNOT BE CONSIDERED CHEESE

92 Russian children SIGN contract TO BECOME TEST PATIENTS FOR RESEARCH ON dysentery, IN EXCHANGE FOR A YEAR OF GOVERNMENT FOOD RATIONS

Adventurers travel from Pole to Pole to raise awareness ABOUT BIPOLAR DISORDER AND FIND THEMSELVES ENJOYING THE TRIP ONE DAY, QUESTIONING WHY THEY EVEN BECAME ADVENTURERS THE NEXT