Justin's Whirled Headlines Issue #47
JULY 7, 2000

2000, Justin Thorne




Japanese city decides not to name auditorium for Madeleine Albright, PARADOXICALLY SWITCHES ALLEGIANCE TO FORMER VICE PRESIDENT SPIRO AGNEW

Yugoslavian parliament moves to strengthen Milosevic's firm grip on country WHEN UNAUTHORIZED COPIES OF 'ANIMAL FARM' APPEAR ON BOOKSHELVES

Palestinians ask for aid package of $40 billion WHILE HOMELESS IN WESTERN DEMOCRACIES ASK FOR AND RECEIVE CONSIDERABLY LESS

Britain's Blair voices strong support for adopting NEW euroPEAN 16-YEAR-OLD AFTER HIS IS ARRESTED

Brazil's Church threatens pro-condom priest FOR PUTTING PUBLIC HEALTH AHEAD OF DOGMA

'Lady Godiva' rides nude to protest high taxes, ENCOURAGING SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED LAWMAKERS TO RAISE TAXES FURTHER

Kohl accuses panel of UNFAIR bias AGAINST SHADY FINANCING in party finance probe

Pamplona celebrates running of the bulls, AS WORLD PUBLIC EAGERLY AWAITS THE EXCELLENT FOOTAGE OF DRUNKEN MEN BEING TOSSED AROUND BY BULLS

11,000 Japanese sickened by tainted milk; 11,000,000 AMERICAN PARENTS SICKENED BY POPULARITY OF POKEMON

Oil prices plunge on Saudis' decision to pump SLIGHTLY more crude

Germany edges South Africa 12-11 for 2006 World Cup, SHOWING FIFA CAN MAKE DECISIONS JUST AS POORLY AS THE INTERNATIONAL OLYMPIC COMMITTEE

Morocco jails two Europeans with 11 tons of drugs AFTER REJECTING THEIR CLAIMS TO BE 'CASUAL USERS'

Japan's Mori says economic growth AND RE-ESTABLISHMENT OF JAPANESE COLONIES ON ASIAN MAINLAND top priority

Peru president pledges to keep shadowy spy chief working TO SUPPORT HIS INTERESTS

Irish drinkers toast longer pub hours, price freeze BY GETTING REALLY DRUNK