Scottish kilt makers debate need for standards board IN 'WORLD NEWS NO ONES CARES ABOUT' COMPETITION
 

Somali subclans cooperate to elect local government, WHICH WILL ASSUME ROLE OF OVERSEER OF SENSELESS VIOLENCE
 

U.S. blasts Shell deal to develop Iranian oil fields, AS IT WAS BACKING EXXON
 

Collector bids $1.9 million for rare watch at Swiss auction, WHICH HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN FOR $19.95 FROM AN ADMITTEDLY SHADY DEALER DOWN BY THE DOCKS IN JERSEY CITY
 

WHILE CONTAINING HIS LAUGHTER, New chief vows to make UNESCO efficient peace tool
 

Bodies of 24 air crash victims flown to Rome, THIS TIME WITHOUT CRASHING
 

Hong Kong journalists A COUPLE YEARS LATE IN BECOMING concerned about future of free press
 

Moderate leading Macedonian presidential race, early results show, BUT DON'T WORRY ARMED INSURRECTION FANS, THE SUPPLY OF ARMS IS AMPLE
 

Planned West Bank withdrawal delayed because of dispute, OR AT LEAST THAT'S THE STORY THEY'RE STICKING TO
 

Summit does nothing for Mugabe-Blair tension OTHER THAN GIVE A PUNK BAND A GOOD IDEA FOR ITS NEW NAME
 

Britain's Queen Elizabeth arrives in Mozambique, MARVELS AT THE 'NUMBER OF PEOPLE OF COLOUR'
 

Human error, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY poor design caused Japan nuke accident, ACCORDING TO THE GUY WITH THE LADLE AND THE BUCKET OF PLUTONIUM
 

Murdoch urges Australia to boost immigration FROM NATIONS WHICH HAVEN'T YET 'ENJOYED' SATELLITE TV SERVICE AND PRINT REPORTS FROM UNSUBSTANTIATED SOURCES