SINN FEIN LEADER SAYS, IN ADDITION TO ALLOWING DEADLINE TO DISARM TO EXPIRE, HE IS NOW READY TO REVEAL TO CHILDREN THAT SANTA CLAUS DOESN'T EXIST

BELFAST, Northern Ireland (March 14, 2000 Whirled Wire Service)
A May deadline in Northern Ireland's peace agreement for paramilitary groups to disarm will be ignored, the leader of the Irish Republican Army's political allies said Tuesday, "and if the critics out there don't like that, I'll ruin their children's Christmas."

Protestant unionist politicians quickly accused Sinn Fein President Gerry Adams of throwing away the only explicit deadline in the landmark Good Friday agreement reached two years ago, and for holding hostage one of western civilization's long observed holiday traditions.

Adams said he had little choice in the matter.  "Look, children have to grow up sometime.  If the parents of the U.K. cannot elect leaders capable of doing the job of settling the issue of Northern Ireland, it's time for a reality check."

Michael McGimpsey, a senior member of the Ulster Unionist Party, responded that "If Sinn Fein aim to take the position that Santa Claus doesn't exist, we are prepared to defend Santa tooth and nail, even if he is a glitzy, commercial import from the U.S."

"If the republican movement is abandoning this important tradition of duping innocent young minds, we will pick up the slack," McGimpsey added.

Sinn Fein has taken the position that after spending most of their adolescence amidst explosives, demonstrations and random violence, the children of Northern Ireland are jaded on the cotton candy dreams of the holiday season, and that a little honesty might go a long way to further the republican cause.

In a separate press conference held later Tuesday, the IRA vowed to assassinate anyone who attempted to discredit Leprechauns.