ISSUE #31 - #45

Issue #31 11/2/99 Croatian president Tudjman has emergency surgery TO REMOVE LETTERS WHICH MAKE HIS LAST NAME IMPOSSIBLE TO PRONOUNCE
Issue #32 11/16/99 Clinton lauds Turkey's human-rights progress; calls for EU admission THAT LANGUISHING IN PRISON WITHOUT DUE PROCESS IS COMMONPLACE THROUGHOUT EUROPE
Issue #33 12/1/99 Mandela travelling to Iran, Jordan, Syria FOR TALKS on wayS to DESTROY Israel
Issue #34 12/9/99 U.S. acknowledges that father can assert claim for Cuban boy, JUST AS CUBA CAN ASSERT CLAIM FOR TITLE "CRUSTY OLD COMMUNIST BACKWATER"
Issue #35 1/11/00 Hostage confirms photographs of Indian Airlines hijackers DO THEIR GOOD LOOKS NO JUSTICE
Issue #36 2/29/00 Haider reportedly resigns as head of Austria's Freedom Party, BUT NO ONE CAN BE SURE AS JOURNALISTS, JEWS AND GYPSIES THERE ARE AFRAID TO COME OUT OF THEIR HOUSES
Issue #37 3/15/00 SECRETARY Albright, SPORTING A NEW "HIP-HOP" IMAGE, says India should "KICK TO THE curb ALL THEM WHACK nuclear weapons"
Issue #38 3/26/00 Scientists investigate whales' deaths after Navy test in Bahamas, THINK THERE MIGHT BE A RELATIONSHIP TO THE 570 DEPTH CHARGES WHICH WERE FIRED
Issue #39 4/6/00 IMF enacts tougher auditing standards for loans SUCH AS ABILITY FOR RECIPIENTS TO REPAY THEM
Issue #40 4/13/00 HEAD OF LARGEST CASINO IN Reno urges relatives to ACCEPT HIS OFFER OF $150,000 IN CHIPS IN EXCHANGE FOR RIGHTS TO PUT ON 'ELIAN ON ICE' SKATING SPECTACULAR AND resolve Cuban boy's case custody struggle.
Issue #41 4/21/00 Olympics chief warns that Athens could lose 2004 Summer Games IF THEY DON'T COME UP WITH SOME COLLEGE SCHOLARSHIPS AND 50 CASES OF OLIVES QUICK
Issue #42 5/2/00 Dominican candidate's bodyguards kill ruling party official IN DEMONSTRATION OF DEMOCRACY LATIN AMERICA STYLE
Issue #43 5/18/00 Austria drafts plan to compensate Nazi slave laborers IN SURPLUS NAZI MONEY
Issue #44 5/31/00 Ethiopia says it has 'withdrawn' from western Eritrea BY HEADING EAST
Issue #45 6/8/00 Gerry Adams urges London bombers to stop campaign UNTIL TALKS HAVE FAILED AGAIN

Justin's Whirled Headlines © 1999-2004, Justin Thorne